


Girls Night Out

by fleurlb



Category: Happy Valley (TV)
Genre: Female Friendship, Gen, Yuletide Treat
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-24
Updated: 2017-12-24
Packaged: 2019-01-26 01:10:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,967
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12545452
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fleurlb/pseuds/fleurlb
Summary: Ann and Joyce take Catherine out for her fiftieth birthday.





	Girls Night Out

**Author's Note:**

  * For [wrabbit](https://archiveofourown.org/users/wrabbit/gifts).



“Guess who's going to be fifty next week,” said Joyce. She, Catherine, and Ann were finishing up lunch in the break room. 

“Piss off,” grumbled Catherine.

Ann's eyes went wide. “What are we doing? We have to do something!”

“Yeah, because the last time we celebrated me birthday, it were a real party. The only reason the police didn't get called was because they were already there.”

“We'll go out. The three of us. To that all-male burlesque show in Huddersfield,” said Joyce.

“Strippers? No. Absolutely not,” said Catherine.

“C'mon, don't be a spoil sport. That sounds perfect,” insisted Ann.

“Two against one. You're overruled,” said Joyce.

“It's my birthday. My vote is the only one that should matter.”

“Sitting at home, drinking tea and watching Gogglebox is not permitted for any birthday, but especially not your fiftieth. What kind of friends would we be if we let that happen?” asked Ann.

Catherine looked from Joyce to Ann and then sighed in resignation. “You lot aren't going to let me away with it, are you?”

“Not a chance,” said Joyce with a sly grin while Ann opted to shake her head and try to look as innocent as possible.

“Okay, fine. But you tell no one it's my birthday and if anyone tries to sing to me or wave a willy in my face, I'm leaving, like a cartoon character, right through the wall.”

“Will we invite Clare as well?” asked Ann.

“She and Neil are going for a mucky weekend in the Dales. I'll have to get Ryan to sleep over at Cesco's. Ann, you can stay at mine, if you like, so you don't wake up Nev stumbling in at stupid o'clock.”

“It sounds like a plan,” said Ann.

“A good plan,” confirmed Joyce while Catherine's look plainly said that she disagreed but wasn't going to get into it. 

==============================

After a decent meal at a Thai place, they arrived at the nightclub that was hosting the burlesque show. The couple of bottles of wine that they'd shared at dinner were making for a good evening filled with laughs.

Ann had reserved them a table, although she swore that she'd said nothing about Catherine's birthday. They were surrounded on three sides by hen parties and one table near them that looked like an outing from a retirement home. The waiters were all buff, barely dressed men.

“So this is what it looks like when the shoe is on the other foot,” Catherine said as they sat down. 

“Shoes are about all these blokes have on,” replied Joyce.

“Just keep reminding yourself that you could be their granny.”

“Catherine,” groaned Joyce. “You're no fun.”

She smiled. “Sorry. I'll try harder.”

“Try harder to be more fun? Or try harder to be yourself?” asked Ann.

Catherine elbowed her and made a shushing sound. 

Their waiter arrived, greased up like a bloke out of a sexy calendar. Catherine felt her cheeks beginning to burn from the ridiculousness of it all and realized that she could lean into it and possibly enjoy the evening or resists and ruin the night for everyone. 

“Would you ladies like some Sex on the Beach?” asked the waiter with a sly smile.

“You're going to be awfully tired, aren't you?” said Catherine, aiming for flirty and only just missing, judging from how Ann slapped her with the drinks menu.

“Cosmopolitan please,” said Ann as Catherine and Joyce looked over the menu, both of them squinting because they didn't bring their glasses. 

“Make that two,” said Catherine.

“You know what, Sex on the Beach sounds great. I'll have that,” said Joyce.

“You would, you slag,” joked Catherine as she and Joyce laughed. 

A few minutes later, the waiter returned with their drinks, two impossibly pink concoctions in martini glasses and one tall glass of orange with a twisty straw and more cherries than a fruit salad on the top. 

Catherine took a sip. “Not bad at all, if you can get past the ridiculous colour.” 

Joyce tried her drink. “Best I ever had,” she said with a wicked grin. 

Catherine laughed. Leaning into the ridiculous was the right choice. 

“So, have you arrested anyone here?” asked Ann. 

“I've been thinking about that, and I don't think I have. I was wondering about that lad over there at the bar, but I don't think so.”

The lights flickered and announcement was made for last orders before the show started. Catherine nodded at Ann, who flagged down the waiter for another round for the show. Catherine figured she could go one more, possibly two, before she tipped down into the too-drunk zone, a place that she tried to avoid because it made her angry and nervous. She didn't think she had whatever genetic jackpot that Clare did, that made for compulsive spirals into addiction, but she preferred to stay in the land of pleasantly soused. 

The show was a good laugh, for the first forty minutes. The music was good, mostly nostalgia-tinged blasts from the past, and the lads were good dancers. Then a spotlight searched the audience. 

“We're going to send the lads out now for some personal dances. And a couple of lucky ladies will get to come up on stage and join the show.”

Catherine put her head in her hands. “No. Just no.”

“You probably don't want to be looking like that,” said Ann. Catherine looked up in time to see a look pass between her and Joyce.

“You lot didn't! If -”

“If you get picked, it'll just be because of sheer magnetism is unstoppable,” said Joyce. 

Their waiter came over. “So, blondie, it's your lucky night.”

Catherine made a show of looking behind her. “I'm not sure who you're talking to. Can't be me. I don't go in for this sort of thing.”

“We can do this the easy way or the hard way. Would you prefer to join the show?”

“Hell no. Easy way sounds good to me,” said Catherine. She took a long pull of her Cosmopolitan to fortify herself. Then she turned her chair around and faced the waiter. “Do your worst.”

The waiter smiled at her, and then Catherine saw him wink at Joyce. 

“If either of you lot even think about photographing this, you're going to be very, very sorry.”

“You hear that, Joyce? I think we're being threatened,” said Ann.

Joyce waved a dismissive hand. “All bark, no bite, this one.”

“You can bite me anytime,” said the waiter as the music came up, loud, a song that Catherine recognised from the awkward discos of her youth. “I Melt With You.”

The lad was a good dancer and Catherine just kept reminding herself where his eyes were. Although his biceps and chest were a good distraction. The big finale was when he ripped off his tear-away pants and he wasn't wearing much more than a handkerchief with a tassel.

“Thank you love, that was....nice,” said Catherine. 

“My eyes are up here,” he said. “After you'd done so well.”

Catherine flushed, then laughed with Joyce and Ann. 

==============================

The taxi delivered them to Catherine's after midnight, and they stumbled into the house with muffled laughter and shushing until she remembered that the house was empty.

“Our Ryan's at Cesco's and Clare is off with Neil. For the first time in about ten years, my house is truly just mine.”

“Good. I feel like my volume control is probably broken,” said Ann as she walked into the front room and collapsed on the settee. 

Catherine sat next to her, head on the back of the settee while the room nearly spun around her. That third Cosmopolitan might have been a mistake. Well, at least she hadn't finished it. 

“Thank you... for a not too horrifying night. As birthdays go, it was definitely not the worst.” 

“Not too horrifying! Not the worst! High praise indeed!” 

They lapsed into a comfortable silence and Catherine thought Ann might have passed out, so she stole a look at her. She was looking at Catherine, and she didn't look away. 

“I think you're brilliant,” said Ann.

“Well, I did save your life. But I suspect this is just the drink talking.”

Ann rolled up onto her shoulder and faced Catherine. “No, it's not the drink talking. And it's not just because you saved my life. You really are brilliant.”

“I'm really not. I'm just another human being trying to make it through each day.” 

Ann opened her mouth, as if to argue, then closed it. Catherine watched some sort of resolved look cross her face, then Ann moved in and their lips brushed. 

Catherine had a split-second to make a decision for how to play it. She opted to put a big fake kiss on Ann's cheek and then stand up. 

“I'm going to put the kettle on,” she said, hoping that Ann would get the hint, but fearing that she was a bit too stubborn and possibly too drunk. Ann caught her hand.

“Catherine, I'm serious.”

“Love, you're drunk is what you are, and so am I. Also, I'm your boss and your friend, which is already a blurred area. So, I'm going to put the kettle on.” She gave Ann's hand a gentle squeeze and then left the room. 

In the kitchen, Catherine put the kettle on and splashed some water on her face, to wake herself up. She had the feeling of a soldier entering a mine field when she returned to the front room with two cups of tea.

Ann took the tea and stared up at the ceiling. “Did you ever think it would just be easier to be with a woman?”

“Aye...when Richard left. It were kind of a relief, in a way, that I didn't have to keep trying to understand him. It was like he were on a different planet and every day, I had to take a rocketship to get to him. It were exhausting.”

“And have you ever?”

Catherine shook her head. “You?” 

“I got up to all sorts at university. So yeah, not like a relationship, just a fling.” 

“I like men. They have their charms. But it's my women friends who keep me sane.” 

Ann sat up and looked into her mug. “I'm sorry...I hope I haven't - “

Catherine shushed her. “I've already forgotten. C'mon, finish your tea. You can sleep in my room. I'll stay in Ryan's.”

“There's plenty of room-”

“Hush. I bet you steal the blankets and snore.”

==============================

Catherine was at the kitchen table having a cup of tea and toast when Ann finally joined her near noon. 

“The dead have arisen. I just boiled the kettle. You know where the mugs are.”

Ann went over to the cupboard. “I have a splitting headache.”

“I'm not surprised. Nurofen's in the cupboard above the sink.” 

A few minutes later, Ann joined Catherine at the table. She was bleary-eyed and looking a bit worse for wear. 

“Catherine, I'm really-”

“Hungover? Aye, I can see that. Anyone with eyes can see that. Don't worry though, Ryan's staying on at Cesco's another night and Clare isn't home until Monday. I talked to Nev to assure him you're still in one piece and that you'll be home tomorrow.”

“No....you talked to my dad?” 

“I didn't want him to worry. They'd throw me out of the parents club if I let another parent worry.”

Ann took a sip of her tea and then shut her eyes. “Catherine, I'm so sor-”

“It were a wild night. I can't remember a lot of it,” said Catherine, keeping her voice level and looking Ann right in the eyes. 

“Are you lying to me?”

Catherine drank her tea and shook her head. The world ran on lies, big and small, and sometimes, it was a kindness.


End file.
